4-Point Weekend #123

Hi everyone,

This week we discuss why people yell at barking dogs, how to support others properly, and why you should not make excuses.

Enjoy.

---

• 1) The Barking Dog

When you are in a stressful situation and the person you are with is stressed out - does their stress and inability to self-regulate make you stressed?

The first step of self-regulation is the ability to control one’s own response.

The next step of self-regulation, in my opinion, is the ability to not let others’ responses infuence one’s own response.

Sometimes we can manage our own response to a situation - but once other people lose their cool, we tend to follow.

It’s like the people who yell at their dog when it’s barking.

---

• 2) Supporting Others

Dr Michael Gervais explains how holding space can be a delicate but impactful practice:

When someone comes to you with an issue or something they’ve been struggling with, do you try to fix it… or are you able to sit with it, witness it, and hold space for them?

Do you try to minimize it or move away from it because you’re uncomfortable feeling their pain…or are you able to let them fully express and move through their feelings?

Often the most powerful act of love is to hold space and be present for someone who is suffering, and seek to understand, not resolve or move on. Our natural human tendency leans toward wanting to fix or run away from discomfort, but I invite you to sit in it.

---

• 3) Excuses

Even if you have an excuse that is mostly true, but you don’t totally believe it (it’s not totally true) - don’t use it.

---

• 4) Quote of the week

“I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards.”

- Abraham Lincon

---

Thank you for your time and attention this week.

Much love,

Kyle